screw the constant consequences
of unfailing purposed, inflicted pain
screw the people you patronize
with your selfish, loathing ways

join hands and embrace the demons
forever loving their creamed carrion ways
suckle the nurturing face of death
and kiss the luscious taste of sin

the inadmissible is all that you'll need
lying in your pathological bed of rot
do not choose to see that which is good
for it will surely lead to cessation

9:11 PM:
What on earth is the matter with me? What happened to the happiness? It is all gone. I am slipping so far deep into the pits of Hell that I am scared. I am so scared right now. I am worried I am going to do something to myself that I will regret.

I keep feeling sorry for myself in this ol' diary and I keep talking about how sad I am. It's pretty pathetic, actually. I guess I have just been so absorbed in the gloom for the past while that it seems to be the only thing I can really think clearly about in my mind. I don't think that sadness is technically clarity in my mind, but it is one focus, anyways.