I am currently trying to finish reading The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. I am liking the book, but finding it really confusing. It is hard to read when I am tired and that seems to be one of the few times I ever have to read it. It's an interesting story, but the writing style is definitely difficult to adjust to. Must keep plugging through it, though, since it is a requirement of my OAC English Literature class...

I had the most peculiar dream last night and I don't really remember a lot of it. All I recall is that I was secretly drinking a cup of coffee and it tasted like crap and I hated myself for it. I think I had got it from Tim Horton's and walked around town with it or something. The dream was strange, anyways.

Today is my friend Chrissy's 19th birthday. We had originally planned to have a get together, but I am not sure whether it is still going on or not. I don't think I will be able to go since I have my English Literature Independent Study essay to finish. It is taking me quite some time, but I know I can get it done on time. It would be nice to finally hand something in on time in that class. To be quite honest, I can't wait to get out of there. I have a great teacher, but she is a very picky maker and it makes it difficult for me. Plus she wants the standard answers, unlike my regular English teacher, and that is just no fun. :(

My Mom's friend Cathy came over for supper last night and she showed us her pictures from her 3 month trip to Australia and New Zealand. It was really quite neat to see everything that she saw. I think it has been something she has always wanted to do. I definitely have got to get my butt to Australia and New Zealand before I keel over. ;)

This entry is certainly jumping all over the place. I guess it is partially because I don't have all that much to talk about so I must milk what little I do have...

I have been in the most angry mood all weekend. I really hate what my period does to me. Even the joy of getting to crack open my 100 pack of tampons didn't make it any better... I am cranky, bloated, and not pleasant to be around right now. Grr! It's quite frustrating, but I guess I will live. *sigh*

I have not been using my food journal like I said I was going to do, but today I switched back to using fitday to keep track of my food somewhat. I know I didn't want to have to do this since it is one of the worser forms of number obsession, but I knew that if I didn't I was going to keep eating and eating non-stop. I just can't stop eating myself silly and I am not prepared to gain more weight. This outward appearance obsession is ridiculous, I know, but I think it is going to be an active force in my life for quite some time. It is embedded in our culture and I just can't shake it. I will just have to make sure I am eating like 2000 cals a day and exercising. Maybe someday I will let go, but I am too scared without some form of control. I need the control and I don't know why it is so damn necessary. I guess I will just never reach the normalcy I desire.

Today's Affirmation: I will do what I need to break through my resistance.
Today's Quote: "The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." -Chinese Proverb