speculating.diaryland.com
perfect
2003-01-16 :: 10:32 p.m.

no matter how hard i try, i can never formulate the words i want to say to you at a given moment. i have hundreds of syllables that i want to portray, yet i cannot. my thoughts remain forever constipated in my mind. i will never be able to tell you how i truly feel. it happens to me time and time again. especially when i am so chock-full of rage that i want to smack you until you wake up out of your ignorant dream. you do not understand and you never will.

on that rare occurence when i do manage to say something, you laugh and scoff at me as though i were lower than you.

you are perfect, aren't you? anal in every way possible. making sure everything is orderly and just so. no one could be better than you, could they? you are above everyone. in a class even higher than god. you think you are god.

must be pretty damn lonely in your one person class. too bad you are too blind to see the truth and beauty around you. always thinking that you know everything and no one can prove you wrong. you miss out on a lot because of this. no friends. not a single one. i guess being perfect has its sacrifices, eh?

maybe if you could take a moment and admit that you aren't perfect, people might like you. if you were able to say: "yes, i am human like everyone else," i would respect you. you have your faults like every other person on this planet. that is okay, you know. it is okay to be imperfect.

too bad you cannot hear what i am saying. too bad you will miss out on having people enjoy your presence. too bad you will revert to your one-person class, yet again, to stick up your nose and miss out on all that is in the wonderful world below you.

go ahead and waste your fucking life. i have done all that i can to help you. i am tired of trying because you are much too stubborn. you will never hear the words i speak.

i wonder where you will go when you die? i do not think god will be pleased to see you. i hope i can see the look on your face at that moment when you are not accepted at the pearly gates. dreadful on my part to think that but, then again, i am not perfect so i am allowed to have devilish thoughts. just one of my many faults.

looking forward to seeing you in the netherworld someday.

||

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me
1984. female. sometimes happy. sometimes sad. sometimes mad. always tired. no clue what she is doing with her life. currently working to save money. hates herself.

older entries
+ Ciao on 2004-07-28
+ Do you want quantity or quality, man? on 2004-04-27
+ New Name...? You like? on 2004-04-27
+ Mental m�lange on 2004-04-25
+ I Need A Hug on 2004-04-25