I guess partially why I miss the outdoor activities so much is because when I started to recover last year, they were what I clung to, to maintain at least half of my sanity levels. I am reminiscing on times passed.

I remember the mornings, right when I decided that I truly did want to recover from my e.d., at 6 AM, when I would go for an hour bike ride on the calm country roads. I challenged myself to go further each morning into pure bliss. The life these mornings would breathe into me was ethereal. I had never felt so alive and thankful for my existence in my whole life.

Every morning that I went out biking, I think a little piece of my tattered soul was replenished. I want back these mornings. I miss them so much. It just isn�t the same stepping out into the bitter, unrelenting cold.

I want the heat on my skin and the sun in my hair. I want the birds cheering me on and the sweet smelling blossoms by my side. I want the rush under my wheels and the wind in my face. I want to breathe in that special liveliness again.

For now I can only recollect and wait impatiently for the day when I can pull my trusty ol� bike out of the garage and grease up her wheels for take off. Come 3-4 months time, I am going to get back my honeydew, glorious mornings. I absolutely cannot wait.