"we're concerned," they said, and we think you need to start taking meds." pause. "oh heavens no," i replied taken aback, "i don't need anything like that, i am just fine."

"is it the exams that are getting you down?" she asked. "they are bothering me somewhat but honestly, nothing is wrong and i don't need any medication," i quickly replied. "we think it would be a good idea, dear, because we love you and we want you to know that we do not care what happens with this semester's classes. frankly, we gave up on you getting extremely good marks a while ago," she pleaded.

"we don't want you to have bad days anymore... the pills will even it out so you feel happy all the time and are better able to deal with stress," he commented.

"can i make you a doctors appointment?" she inquired. "i guess so, but i really would rather not" i said apprehensively. "please just give them a shot and we'll see what happens, it's only one pill a day," she said. "okay but if i start gaining weight or having some other side effect, i am going to stop taking them," i said bitchly. "we'll see," they both commented.

yeah, so tonight i am going to visit the doctor to get prescribed for some anti-depressants. can't say i am too pleased about it...

yet another item that i must be dependent on. i hate having other entities/people do things for me. i would rather be able to say, "i got there by myself and i am damn proud." pride has always been an issue for me.

the good thing is that they are not mad about me fucking up the school work. that was definitely a relief. and i guess the meds could be a good thing. i'll just have to see how it goes.