The night before last I dreamed that my backyard was a slightly frozen river and a bunch of people I knew (and didn't really know) were jumping in the water and swimming around. After that a girl, Sara H. who is in my English class, and I hopped into her over-sized van. We had to disable the alarm on the van using the code "Denver." It took forever to turn the letters on this knob and get it right before we could start the van. After we accomplished this, she drove us God knows where to a hotel. There we had to track down the killer of our hoochie mama friend and find her remains. After that all I remember is that we found him and had to run back to the van and get the alarm uncoded and get away. I believe we did get away in the end, but I am not sure what happened after that.

Last night I dreamed about killing people and dodging knives. I don't exactly remember all of it, but I know I was trying to kill my step father and had to kill a bunch of other people so that I could get to him. It was like I was in this really bad martial arts movie in which all these knives we constantly being thrown at me and I had to avoid them. I ran all over my house and around the block killing people with various gigantic knives. When I finally did manage to stab my step father, he wouldn't die no matter where I stabbed him or how many times. Geeps, that was quite the dream. Can you tell I am feeling a slight apprehension towards him right now? I definitely don't want to kill him, though. I hope I don't have a dream like that again...

Both dreams were death related anyways for the most part. I usually don't have nightmarish dreams like that very often, but those were scary enough to be remembered this long. Usually I forget right away, but those have stuck in my mind.

I also have been dreaming, well more fantasizing before I fall asleep, of downing a couple of bottles of pills and just falling asleep forever. Usually I also always cut my wrists at the same time to make sure I have a back up plan.

Today's Affirmation: It doesn't matter what the disease is. There is always room for hope. I am not going to die one of the statistics.
Today's Quote: "Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it." -George Orwell