Yesterday was my first day not working or doing something really important in a long time. I ended up plopping myself in front of the idiot box after Jiu-Jitsu class in the morning and watching The Labyrinth (yes, Tasuki, you need to see it again, but I am afraid there are no unicorns in it. There are lots of other fabulous characters to entertain and delight the mind, though). Of course being in front of the television leads to eating lots of junk that I should not be eating and then that leads to thoughts of weight gain, which in turn leads to other things that I will spare details from here. Yeah, so Sunday was not a walk in the park, anyways.

Today I am glad to be back to working the childcare from 9-11 AM (the lady, Crystal, who runs the childcare [I volunteer to help her out a few days a week] took one hour off to take one of the aerobics classes that our gym offers because we are all supposed to take them and she needs to do it before I go back to school and she has no one to cover for her) and then coming home to a quick lunch while watching "The Price is Right" while eating. Then I popped in here for a quick entry and will be working from 1-5 PM and then coming home for a quick dinner. Then I will go back to the gym at 6:30 PM to do weights/cardio until 8:00 PM when I will be covering the gym desk for Meagan while she teaches fitness kickboxing (the girl who usually does it is away tonight) and then I may work out a bit more. After the gym I will be going to Liz's house to watch Bowling For Columbine and then I will come home sleep and get up after 5 hours and start the hectic Hell all over again.

I may describe the busyness as a "hectic Hell", but I actually like it this way. If I had a lot more free time on my hands this summer, I would probably have been dead by now. I know this distraction/keeping busy is not the healthiest way to deal with my problems since I am just pushing them away for now and they likely will come back to haunt me once I have some free time on my hands, but it seems to be working pretty well right now. I am so tired of fighting with myself and the others around me. I guess in my thinking it is either give up and die or distract right now. When the distraction is no longer there, it will be hard to choose whether to keep fighting or to give up and swallow a bottle of pills. I am just glad that for right now I don't have to worry about that.

Anyways, I must be going or I will wind up late for work and that would not go over well at all.